Moments to think (tag:Jim)

((sorry ;3; but...i couldn't help it x'D))

His head shot up in alarm as he moved closer and resisted the urge to crawl backwards. He keep his gaze hard, hoping to hide the worry and slight fear he was feeling at the moment.
"It's called 'reality', learn to accpet it," he snarled. "Don't get so damn close..!"

(( ehehe troll XD ))

John raised his hands in surrender, "I'm not, don't worry" he said as he analyze the kid, "Hey, you have nothing to fear, I will not harm you, in fact is all backwards, I want to help you" he said a bit more gently and smiled warmly trying to look as friendly as possible, at least enough to calm him down, "And don't you think that I will go away feeling all cocky and powerful, no sir, I'm not going to leave you until I know your wound is closed" he added quite determined.

((i'm so evil aren't i? xD))

He pushed John backwards. "I said don't get so close!" he burst out, refusing to listen to his words once again.
"I don't want you near me! Iv'e been perfectly fine on my own, so don't. Fucking. Touch me!"
He crawled back a little before trying to stand up.

((Yeah but being evil is something cool actually >: ) ehehe ))

John ended up sitting in the floor, without stop staring at him, he slightly frowned, "Yeah considering your bruises and scars I can totally tell you've been totally fine on your own, you might think I am but I'm not stupid and am not a liar, I don't know why you're so scare but you can trust me, you can" he said without moving of his place, worried that Jim's bleeding might cause him some kind of faint or illness, or something.

((yes! Finally someone who understands me :'D))

Jim hesitated before snapping at him again andhad to sit back down on the gorund. It still hurt to much to move. "...what if i don't want to?" he mumbled quietly, not knowing if he was asking himself or John that.
He hung his head so his hair was covering his eyes, hiding his pained expression from the older man.
"It's better being alone... beacuse that way I wont be draggin anyone else down with me."


((gosh i feel so emo all of a sudden ))

(( ahaha evil minds think the same XD ))

John frowned in surprise and slightly tilted his head as Jim spoke, the question didn't really sound for him, his face soften at the reaction of the boy. He felt sorry for him, truly sorry, he knew what it was like to be left alone with no one that could take care of himself, by looking at Jim he looked at his resemblance if he had stayed the way he did. And that just encouraged the blonde even more on not leaving the kid, he needed to know other path, a better path than the one Jim was taking.
"Except you..." John added, "...Do you really wish to drown yourself in darkness and sadness?" he asked looking at him, "Answer me by looking in the eye" he demanded.

(( Blame Jim! ))

((oh gosh now Jimbo is scared Dx ))

John's demand made him froze in fear. Is sounded so familiar, wich brought bakc some memories he had thoguth eh ahd buried along time ago.
"G-get away," he stutterd and made his body move, ignoring the pain screaming at him to stop moving. He stumble dup on his feet and just turend away, going back the way he came from.
Look at me in the eye. Answer me! You're not goig anywhere. You piece of shit. You're not worth anything. I said look at me!
No no no no, he couldn't take this crap right now! He couldn't have a fukcing mental break down again..! But how did he block out voices screaming inside his head?!

((...what's wrong with me? ))

((aww stupid John, *slaps the back of his head* ))

John looked at his reaction and realized something he didn't noticed before, more than anger, it was fear what surrounded the kid, fear and sadness. He sighed feeling terrible, he sure wasn't good talking to kids and teens, and being used to follow rules, accomplishing missions and face men in the eye made him forgot what fear was like.
He stood up and run towards Jim, which wasn't much considering the boy found it hard to move, "Forgive me Jim, sometimes I forget that talking to my fellow partners is not the same way when I talk to other people" he said feeling ashamed of his action, "At least let me walk you home, and I promise I won't get to close" he said in a more warm and soft way.

((absolutely nothing dear ))

((nuuu don't slap Johnny boy xD))

He watched him get closer to him again, eyes wide in fear and looked ready as if John might attack him suddenly. But it wasn't the knight he was afraid of... only the memroies he caused him to remember.
"I want to be alone," he hissed again. How many times have he heard himself repeat those damn words anyway?
"Don't you see you're only making thigns worse?!" he was almost yelling by now, but he was at his breaking point so holding his feelings back wasn't the easiest. "Just leave me the fuck alone..." his voice got weaker as he tried to hold back a sobb. Damn... why must he be so pathetic?

((yay! show us some tears now kiddo xD /SHOT))

(( -.- well he deserved it... John: -.- you shouldn't spend so much time with Jim))

"No you don't" John said shaking his head, "You can repeat that to yourself but you know you don't mean it because no one wants to be left alone, no one, I'm sure of that" he explained firm but gentle, mainly because of his concern that grew bigger when he began to see Jim breaking.
John thought about it, he wanted loneliness but he needed something else, he needed more.
"I'm not leaving Jim" John said decided, "I'm not going to leave you specially like that!" he explained showing his concern towards the boy, "When I say you could trust me I mean it, and when I say I won't leave you I mean it as well, do you understand?" he added a bit warmly.

(( *gets tissues* come at us bro ))

((JIm: Jealous Smith? ))

"I'm not as lonely and abandoned as you make me out to be you bloody idiot!" Jim snapped, his fists now shaking in both anger and pain.
"I have some who cares about me, helps me, is there for me and doesn't fucking pretend to care or lies to me!"
When John repeated that he still wouldn't leave him he was starting to panic. He shaked his head and took steps back, almost tripping over his own feet. "I don't want you around. Stay away! Just.. let me be!"
For some reason he wasn't seeing John infront of him anymore, but someone else who he had praid to never see or hear of again.
Going on wihtout sleep or real food for days maybe did that to ones head... and add some locked up emotins he has had for years finally breaking through and you have yourself a chaking, crying and scared mess on the floor.
So when he felt a tear roll down his cheek, he didn't have the strengh to care.

((Jim: I-I'm not crying Dx Me: Sure you're not.))

(( John: -.-* why would I? ))

Somehow, it didn't matter how much Jim screamed towards him, he didn't feel offended because his insults didn't feel like they were meant to him. Probably when he was called idiot perhaps, but the more Jim screamed and broke the more he understood some things, or at least understood enough to make some theories. He couldn't talk, he couldn't answer because he didn't knew completely the view, but there was one thing he could do that no one did to him back when he was frighten as well.
He didn't hesitate and walked towards him and embraced the kid in his strong arms, being careful to not hurt him, "Calm down Jim, whatever is bothering you, you need to face it calm" he whispered, "Don't be afraid, you don't have to be afraid because there is no one here that can hurt you, not anymore" he said as he wiped the tear that fall through his face without letting go. He was not expecting any kind of response but he was sure a hug will never fail.

(( *wipes my tears with the tissue* how can't you not cry with that ))

((my heart just melted :'D Joooooooooooooooooohnnnyyyyyy<333))

The first thing Jim could think of as he felt arms around him was to beg. Beg to not be hurt again, to be left alone, to be set free and not to be made hurting anyone else. He wanted to scream and push him away. Of course he paniced...
After along moment of failing in breaking free, he slowy realised the knight wasn't going to hurt him. Or at leats.. he hopes so...
Breathing heavy he left his tired an exhausted body lean aginstt the bigger one, letting his tears fall silently.
Even the soft an warm words may sooth him and clam him, he just couldn't bring himself to trust him.. Words have and always will be empty.
"Don't hurt me..." he whimperd without looking up.
He suddenly thoguht about his dear childhood friend. If people liek ehr excisted... than just maybe...
"I'm not scared," he spoke up in his usual irritaed and grumpy voice. "I'm just so fucking tired of life itself."

((Don't cry DX *huggles* Jim: I'ts your fault she's crying -__-))

(( John: want a hug? Me: teheee thank yooou xD ))

John noticed that the boy eventually didn't resist anymore, that made him more confident and made the embrace last even longer. It was kind of painful to think that someone, no matter who could be so evil to make someone like Jim be this way. It was because of people like Jim part of the reason he became a knight, to stand for people like him, and now he found him he would never turn his back to him, no matter how many times Jim will scream, cuss or push him, John will be there. No one was there for him, but he was not like everyone, so he would stay.
"I will not hurt you Jim" he answered softly after making himself a promise, "Not now, not ever"
John couldn't help but smile when his grumpy voice came back, "Life is exhausting true...that's why you can't give up, nor let yourself get down...you must go on, and the more you walk the better it gets, I know of experience."

(( sorry, the whole thing was moving, and don't blame her Jim, the tears that fell were yours ))

((Yes please a hug would be nice :'D))

He mumbled something inaudible and finally pusdhed the man off of him. He felt akward, but didn't show it.
"Don't tell whta do weirdo," he sorted at him again rubbing his neck.
Guess one of Jim's other problem is thta he dsoen't knwo hwo to thandle it when people suddenly show kindness towards him. Him of all people. Is it really that weird of him to get suspiious.
"...wahtever. I betetr go home and strat my slave week and get the shit over with," he sighend and turnd to walk away, as if nothing had just happend. That's just his way to deal with things. Pretend they never happend. Althoguh John's word would be stuck inside his mind from now.
"If you want ot help somewhoe don't so fucking creepy, ugh. I don't bend that way got it?" he called over his shoulder with a shudder.

((sorry... guess Jim feels better now^^)

(( john: come here then *hugs you tight* ))

John raised his eyebrows with half smile thinking how funny the kid could be without even trying. The way he couldn't find the right words was quite entertaining, he had to control himself to not burst in laughter, but that was easy considering his concern was bigger.
"Well I can't stop you from your duties" John said although the fact he used the word slave make him feel suspicious, he needed to find the place where kid lived and talk to his parents if any. It caught his surprise when he talked about him, he rolled his eyes and laughed this time, "That makes it two of us then" John said as he stood up and looked at the river behind. Thinking Jim was far gone he took his sword and slightly bury the end of it in the ground and hold it tighter as he knee in front of it.

"I sir John Smith make a vow..." he began to say, "...A promise in front of the most honorable presence and view I'm standing in front of..." he continued saying meaning the river, and all the spirits that might be surrounding him, "...I make a promise of not leaving this man, James, I promise to stay and to help him find the right path that it was hard even for me to find, weather there's a storm, war, or even the darkest time I will stay or if the moment demands my departure I will return. I give my word, not only a knight's word, a man's" he finished, he closed his eyes and let go of his sword as he was thinking. He soon raised and looked at his surroundings he took a deep breath and accepted that promise.

((yaaay that's good, and sorry for that he needed to make it official))

((*hugs John tightly and squeezes him* xDDDD))

(('daaaaaaaaaaaaaw Jonnhy you lovable knight I just wanna... ajbafrad! *squeezes him again<333* 8D BROMANCE FTW!))