Unable To Pretend [ tag: Esmeralda ]

If she wants to see you, and you want to see her- then go for it.

He said.

And if she gets in danger, be there by her side and save her.

He said.

"If only it was that easy" John said to himself as he walked through the woods, willing to turn back and go another way once in a while. He decided to take a route to the river, he needed to think before doing something. The blonde knight was completely nervous, he knee in front of the river and washed his face , why is it so hard? he thought. He stayed there placing his head on his right leg trying to figure out what he was even doing.

Esmeralda sighend, tired and exahusted after another failed day. Great, now the town was too busy and crowed for the new royals arriving and the upcomming ball. Yay... It would be easy to steal something, but with ehr heads in the clouds she would easily egt caught and lose her hand or both.
She rubbed her neck and flinched slighty in pain. Her arm burned..! Freaken knigths, ging around whipping people...

She ahd tried to move on, to act like she always does. But she'd never would've thoguth a broken heart would be such a pain!
She stopped walking when notcing someone futher down the river. Why was he here of all places?
She kept quiet and started quiwtly back away, but accidently broke a twsit.

Hearing something breaking, and because of the past events John took a knife he always carried and turned into a defensive stance thinking it might be a wolf or a stranger.
By his surprise it was no one else but her. He stood up slowly with eyes widened, it's been days since he last saw her and her memory haunted him ever since. The blonde's heart began to race but in the outside he seemed as normal as usual.
He placed his knife back at his belt, while watching her, "Esmeralda" he said almost in a whisper, but he knew he heard her, she had to.

She cursed herself in her mind for besig so damn clumsy and looked bakc at him when he utterd her name. For once she couldn't read him. He didn't even look sorry... or affected in the least.
"Didn't mean to bother you, I'll be leaving now," seh said calmly, keeping her expression blank as she turned to leave.
Why did it have to hurt so much?

"No, don't!" he said as he rushed a few steps forward, but soon stopped, "You never bother me" he said although he bit his tongue to avoid saying something like technically and ruin everything.
"I uh..." he tried to say it, try to say how sorry he was, that it hurts worst than all his wounds, why couldn't he just say it?
"i know I have no right to speak to you after...the other day..." he began to say trying to find the right words.

She didn't turn around, but she did stop walking. Why did he suddenly want her to stay? He who had been in such a hurry to get away from her...
"What about the other day?" she spoke up casually, still not turning around. "It's in the past, yu already amde it clear what you thoguht about... us." she mumbled the last part while rubbing her hurt arm. "Well, I've gto other things to do, have a nice day."

(since you're lurking in on our topic Johnny, only fair that I return the favor....and you better not hurt Esme anymore!)

John noticed how she spoke like nothing happened, like it was nothing, he shook his head, "No I didn't, that's the problem, I thought I was right when i wasn't...I thought that what i was doing was in order to protect you, but, if I stay means I can protect you better I will...if I stay means that this god damn itching stops I will"
He said as his breathing began to accelerate as well, "For the first time I felt something with someone I never expected, and I felt your response, I know you can not take this that lightly because i know I can't, we can't pretend that everything's alright and is in the past, because it is not!"

[ NOT FAIR ODETTE YOU ALWAYS ARE THE LURKER! xD ]

(MUAHAHAHA YOU'LL NEVER GET RID OF ME! XDDD )

She stopped walking once again, but this she only felt her anger comming back. "Protect me?" she reapted after he was done spekaing turend around to glare at him. "You think that's what I want? Protection?!"
She stopped over to him, her glare never faiding as her nager threatned to spill all over again. "I don't want your or anyone's protection! I jist wanted to be with you, what's so hard to understand that?!" she hissed. "Jesus you're men are all stupid, thinkg that allwe women want is someone to protect us! And for the record, Im not pretending it never happen! 'Cause I can't stop thinking aout you and you stupid heroic speeches and.... ARGH!" she throw her arms up in frustraiona nd turned away from him again, moving her arm to fast and makig hercurse in pain.

((aww Oddie, you're the best friend ever<33 xD))

John widened his eyes as the Esmeralda snapped at him, he saw her yelling, he knew it, he knew she was angry and that perhaps it was a bad idea. But not seeing her and face her again was even a worse idea that he would never accept even if he pretended to. A small curve appeared as she spoke, Esmeralda was truly a strong woman and that was one of the many things he liked about her. He felt how broken he was feeling as well, specially after her, he thought that he should be mad but somehow I couldn't. "I know you don't need it but...I was so wrong, about everything I said, i never mean a word because...I want to be with you too" he confessed noticing there was something odd going on she seemed hurt, but not because of him but for something else.
"And I know you still want to be with me" he added raising an eyebrow.

(*cough* and ofc I'll stay in this topic Esme I'm your wifey after all )

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.
Her heart was screaming YES! But her mind said NO. He's not worth it. You're only gonna end up hurt again anyway. WHat's the point?
But she couldn't lie to herslef. Of course she wanted to be with him. But... It was so much easer not realying on someone else.
"Whatever... what's done is done," she sighend, rubbing her arm again. "I can't take this right now. Bye..."

Suddenly, that little fire that Esmeralda seemed to always grew widely came back, he frowned feeling like a fool for a moment.
"When then?!" he snapped now hurt and angry, "Huh? W-when you finally get over me because i can not get over you!" he screamed frowning and remembered something she would perfectly remember as well, "What are you afraid of?" he said trying to calm down.

((Oooh you got her there Jhonny boy xD))

She froze hearing her own words thrown bakc at herself. "What I'm afraid of..?"
She looked bact at him, her eyes filled with anger and... hurt? Sorrow? Not even she could tell right now. "I'm afraid of being left behind again John." she almost whisperd. "Being left alone, abandoned... Even someone like me can only take so much..."

(( Ka- BOOM! ha! XD troll johnny is troll ))

John anger suddenly left as she spoke and raised his eyebrows while looking at the brunette with compassion, and love. John perfectly knew loneliness, John knew exactly what she was talking about, and he couldn't let anyone feel that way, not now, not ever.
He slowly approached towards her as she spoke until they were pretty close between each other, "I will not leave you, not now, not ever ...not again, even if you hate me for my past mistake I will not leave you" he said almost in a whisper placing Esmeralda's forelock behind her ear just like last time, "You know I'm not lying...and I just can't stay away from you for so long" he explained showing his sincerity and his pain.

((D'aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww<33333333 *melts*))

She bit her lip, not daring to look up and stare into those sky blue eyes of his. Yes, she could tell he was speaking the truth, meaning every word he was saying. But... there was always a but wasn't there?
She softly placed her hand on John's chest, as if wanting to push him away but not having the strengh to do it.
"I just can't John..." she sahkes her head. "I can't do this again..."

(Awwwww and Esme WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?? JUST KISS HIM!!)

(( FPNGZGPJJOJPAFSDMF I sleep in and this is what I miss D8... And No! Don't kiss him Esme! YOU GOT TO SHOW HIMTOUGH LOVE!!! >8K ))

(*shuts up Flynn* KISS THE GIRL JOHN!!! XDDD)

((lol<33 you guys and your lurking xDDD))

(( SHUT UP ODDIE D8! LISTEN TO YOUR BRO AND DON'T KISS HIM!! ))

(NOOO YOU SHUT UP!!! *sticks tongue out at you* KISS HIM!! )

John looked at her, he placed a hand on her chin trying to reach her beautiful green eyes, and with his free hand he took hers as she placed it on his chest, not knowing really her intentions he took it tight as he kept listening.
"What are you talking about? You are always willing and able to do anything" he said somewhat worried, "Do you really want me to go again?" he asked, not meaning to actually do it but to be a bit more persuasive.

[ Life calls me out of the computer for some minutes AND I MISSED THE LURKERS? Don't listen to Flynn Esme JUST DON'T LISTEN TO FLYNN ]

((hmm... shoudl she litsen to best friend or bro? x'DDD gosh you guys<33))

"I don't wnat to be dependent on anyone but myself!" She quikcly glanced away, refusing to meet his eyes at the moment. That was to much for her to handle. At leats she wasn't crying...
No, she did not wnat him to go...
"Why are you making things so much harder? I told you last time didn't I?" she spoke a little harshly. "Don't do anything you'll regret."