Another rough night

She looked down, "If I stayed being an assassin.....could we make it work? I just...I don't see how I can change into someone I'm not." She whispered. She pulled out of his embrace and wrapped her arms around herself, "And then I'm scared that I'll.....do something I regret like him." She said darkly as memories flashed through her mind....he needed to know. Tears were falling down her face and she wasn't even aware of it, "Phoebus....there's something I have to tell you, just promise me you won't think any less of me." She begged. This surely would make him never want to see her again....hell she still hated herself for it.

Phoebus ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath as she spoke. Everytime he thought he knew her- she always told him something else about herself, and it was always worse than the last thing..
"What is it?" He asked shortly and looked down before he glanced at her

Odette winced at his tone, "Michael Korso.....he helped me kill Joseph. He gave me the weapon I used to kill him and he taught me how to use it. Before he left....he kissed me. Then last year he showed up and mentioned something about preparing something. And again before he left he...kissed me. Each and every single time I responded....its like...I can't control myself and he knows that. And I'm afraid.....I'm afraid that if he shows up again, I'll react in a way I am going to regret." She said as she looked down in shame. "He scares me in ways Joseph never did.....I'm just as bad as he is." She said with self-disgust in her voice.

"Why are you telling me this?" Phoebus asked shortly once again and with a frown. He didn't know what to say or do, so this was the only thing he could come up with.

She hated hearing that tone in his voice, "If he comes back.....and its only a matter of time...I don't know what he'll do. The worst thing is I don't know what he wants from me....and I'm scared that he'll hurt Jim." She whispered.

"Why didn't you just said that someone is probably after you instead of sharing your whole past you have with him?!" Phoebus frowned and turned his side towards her as he sighed.
"If you had done that, I would have protected you.. But now when it seems like you don't even know your own --- feelings for this guy, I don't know what to do.. And I don't care about Jim, he has other knights that is looking after him.."

She sighed, "I know....I shouldn't have mentioned any of it." She said angrily but the anger was directed at herself. Why did she have to open her big fat mouth and tell him about Michael?? "And this is why...I ruin things." She muttered bitterly.

"I... I don't know what to say" Phoebus shrugged and looked down on the floor
"I guess we just have to wait and see if he shows up and what happends.. Then atleast I know what to do.." He said bitterly.
"Do you have feelings for him?"

She shook her head, "No I don't....I never have. With you, I know I love you and I think I know that no matter what I always will love you. Sometimes I think it takes a little bit of soul baring for me to know my true feelings for someone. However I think I've always loved you...ever since that night we first met. And I'm not perfect....I never will be but you have my heart Phoebus, and that's everything I have that's most important to me." She said quietly.
(dude you better not turn her down now XDDD)

[Occ: Pffff.. You can't tell me what to do or not >< just for that he will slap her and call her a witch... nooo, of course not- he would never do such a thing (A) ]

"But how can I know that you'll not run around and-- sleep with this guy as soon he comes into town? Or how will I know that you'll not come someday with more secrets?" Phoebus said with still a frown, but didn't looked at her.
"I love you, Odette- I really do. But how could I ever trust you? .. "

Odette understood where he was coming from but even so it hurt, "I wouldn't sleep with him...I would die first. As far as secrets go....that's everything, and besides why do you think I told you what I did? I did it so you would know I can't lie to you....I know its difficult to believe me and I don't blame you. I just hope someday you will." She said quietly
(>.< there you go her reasons XD)

"I can-- uhm-- Believe and trust you if you only do one thing for me.." Phoebus said slowly before he looked up as he walked over to her again and laid his hands on her waist.
"Quit being an assassin.." He said with a serious voice. "One thing, and I will never doubt you again"

She stared at him with surprise on her face, "So if I give up the one thing I know....you'll believe me just like that?" She asked disbelievingly. It sounded too good to be true....how he could believe her was beyond her.

"Just like that.." Phoebus nodded, but not with a smile on his lips- mostly because she haven't answered yet.
"Then I know how much I mean to you- and we dont have to worry about our jobs any longer.. You can start a new life- with me"

Odette stared up at him, "Fine I won't be an assassin but if someone is in need...I won't hesitate to help them. Bbecause no matter what, I am not going to stand idly by if someone I care about is in danger...I just can't do that." She said quietly but firmly.

"Okay... But only if they're close friends.. No jobs.." Phoebus said before he started to smile a little and hugged her tightly. In one way he felt really bad for forcing her to do this, but this was what he wanted..
"And if you ever see Michael - come to me, okay?"

Odette clung to him, wondering if she had made the right choice and then not caring....after all she had him. "You can't go after Michael Phoebus...he will kill you if he has the chance. I'm not going to lose you to him...I wouldn't be able to bear it." She whispered as she held him.

"I can atleast keep you away from him so that he doesn't hurt you.." Phoebus said softly- even though he knew that if he ever saw Michael, he wouldn't hesitate to kill him.
"So.. Are we okay- you and I?"

She smiled, happy to hear that, "Yes we are and I'm grateful we had this conversation." She said quietly, true it hadn' gone in quite the way she had envisioned but not badly.

"Good" Phoebus smiled once again and kissed her softly while he stroke her cheek.
"So no more secrets?" He asked as he leaned his forward towards hers

She smiled back up at him, "No more secrets." She whispered before she kissed him again.

"Thank you" He smiled between kisses and pulled her closer to him, but carefully so that he wouldn't hit the wound.
"So what will you do now? Look for another job?"

She sighed, "I have no other choice...although I am a terrible seamstress and besides cooking I don't have any other useful skills." She said as she thought about it.

"Maybe you can just -- do nothing?!" Buy clothes and be with your girlfriends at the day, and then use all your energy in the evening when I comes home?!" Phoebus smirked and stroked his hands over her waist gently.
"That's kinda of a job too, you know" He chuckled

She laughed, "Well it could be a job....I guess. Most women don't like me though...for some reason." She said with a little laugh. However it was true, most women gave her the cold shoulder, something Odette never really understood.