Some Time to Think (tags: Anyone :3)

Aurora nodded and gently squeezed his hands before she released them, "What about Jasmine? You love her don't you?" She asked eventually and with a little hesitation in her voice.

Philip watched as Aurora pulled back her hands, frowning slightly and his throat tightening. His hands lingered in the air, open, for a couple seconds, before he closed them into a ball and dropped them as he turned his body back towards the river, glancing up shyly over at Aurora. Philip let out a soft sigh as he leaned forward on his raised knees at the mention of Jasmine, and suddenly a new pain entered the mix of what he was feeling. Now, not only did he feel heart broken and jealous, but he felt guilty. "I think I love her. She's an amazing person and I enjoy spending time with her," he told Aurora honestly, keeping his eyes on the ground as he spoke, and interlacing his fingers and twiddling his thumbs somewhat. "But now...." he stopped and sighed again, his head dropping slightly. "Now I really am not sure of anything. What love is. Who I love. I just don't know," he admitted sadly, hanging his head even lower.

Aurora looked down as her shoulders tightened in resolve, "Phillip....you can't love two people at once, its just unhealthy. One day you are going to have to choose, and as much as I do love you Phillip.....I need to know who I love too. I'm not a perfect woman and you deserve someone far better then me." She said quietly and stood up trying her best to hide any evidence of tears.
(*hates herself right now*)

Philip just listened quietly for a moment, resting his forehead lightly against his entwined hands. However his head snapped up at quickly turned as Aurora finished and stood up, his eyes wide and mouth agape in slight surprise, but more so disagreement. He pushed himself off the ground with one hand and walked around quickly to face Aurora, reaching up to softly rub her arms as he bent his neck to try and meet your eyes.

"You are amazing Aurora, and I would be lucky to be with you," Philip assured Aurora desperately. "That's what is making this so hard for me," he continued, a bit quieter, his hands almost sliding off her arms as his gaze fell to the ground. "You and Jasmine...You both are just so incredible, and wonderful, and if you aren't perfect, you're the next closest thing," he explained urgently, looking back up at Aurora's face, searching for her eyes. "It's me who doesn't deserve you Aurora," he stated firmly. "Either of you," he added softly as he dropped his hands from her arms, forming tight fists by his sides, as he glared at the ground, clenching his jaw angrily.

"But if you want space...." Philip started again sadly, his face turned towards the side as he stared down at the ground, and his fists becoming even tighter as he lightly banged them against his legs. "From me," he added bitterly, his stomach tightening. "I will give that to you," he finished softly, finally looking up at Aurora again, his eyes gentle, and full of sadness, and releasing his his fists.

Philip swallowed down a lump that had formed in his throat as he looked into her crystal blue eyes, and his heart began to thump roughly in his chest. He felt like he would break at any moment, but Philip kept his face strong, fighting back as much emotion as he could. But his pain was still evident, in the tightness of his jaw, the rigidity of his body and how his hands began to grab at his clothes and fidgeting alongside his legs, the way his bottom lip would occasionally quiver, and in the glassiness of his eyes. He knew Aurora would probably see some of his pain, but he had to try to keep her from seeing more.

Aurora's eyes softened when she saw him in pain and felt even worse, " Oh Phillip, I could never want to be seperated from you. I love you Phillip, I always have.....but its not just you who loves two different people....and the last thing I want is to hurt you...you mean so much to me, don't ever forget that." She said gently and stepped up to him to lightly press a kiss against the corner of his lips before she pulled back and met his gaze with warm eyes showing her love and compassion for him.
(I hope you like most of this )

Philip watched Aurora as she spoke with sad eyes, looking like a sad child or puppy dog as he looked up through his lashes at her, his shoulders hunched over. Hearing Aurora say those things, some of it made Philip feel just so immensely happy, causing the thudding of his heart to increase in speed, his chest to warm up, and his body to straighten up. But other parts, like the part about her own conflicting feelings(and he knew who they were about), they caused his breath to get stuck in his throat, and his heart to stop beating completely, while he hunched over a bit again, as if her had been shot in the stomach. As Aurora finished, Philip wasn't quite sure what to do. Part of him wanted to pull her into a tight embrace, soothe them both. But another part of him thought that the slightest contact with Aurora might not be a good idea. So he shifted awkwardly in place, and clasping his fists open and shut lightly as he looked away and then down to the ground.

When Aurora's lips then made contact with the edge of his, Philip could feel an electric pulse rush up his spine, and suddenly, before he knew what he was doing he reached out and grabbed Aurora's wrist and pulled her back, kissing her deeply when she was close enough. His hand on her wrist slid down to hold her hand, interlacing their fingers, while his other hand slid up her hip to rest lightly on the small of her back, and his lips meanwhile worked fervently against hers. Philip wasn't thinking anymore, his mind totally hazy. He was only acting on how good that light peck had felt, and the soft kiss from a few nights before, and this one was even better, his whole body on fire as he pulled her gently against him. He had always known he fit well with Aurora, now it was only more clear.

((Have some conflicting feels. I have plenty.))

(holy....eep XDD)
Aurora's eyes widened at the sudden burning passionate kiss she was currently receiving from him. She pressed herself closer against him and kissed him back letting her tongue start to play with his as she slid her hands up to curl around his neck. Her eyes fluttered closed as she allowed herself to enjoy the kiss he was giving her.

Philip only intensified the kiss as he felt Aurora respond and move into him as she kissed him back. He let his tongue tangle and move with hers, and their bodies melded together seamlessly. It felt so good, her chest up against his, her heart beating so close to his. His heart was thudding in his chest again, as it had when she said all those wonderful things, and his whole body was feeling like it was right in front of a roaring fireplace, even his throat was burning for more of her sweet taste. His hand on her back slowly started to lightly rub up and down her back, keeping her close to him, and he brought their conjoined hands to rest lightly behind his back. He prayed he didn't start thinking anytime soon cause this felt too good to stop.

Aurora was enjoying the kiss and it felt nice to turn off the rational side even just for a moment, she knew now that she wouldn't be able to have a normal friendship with Phillip anymore. Even if she wanted to go back to being "just friends" with im she would always have these moments in her mind. She forced those thoughts back....she didn't want to focus on that now....not when she wanted to enjoy this moment with Phillip. One hand slid free and clung almost desperately to his shirt as she kept kissing him eagerly.

Philip clung just as desperately to the back of Aurora's dress as she clung to his shirt, scrunching it slightly, and then releasing it before he returned to grazing his hand over Aurora's back softly. His other hand seamlessly released her hand and started to softly run up and then down her arm. Never had Philip imagined this to feel like....THIS! So good, so....Right....And it caused the exact opposite reaction he wanted in himself. It started him thinking, about him and Aurora, and about him and Jasmine, and what this all meant...And just what he was going to do.

What was he going to do? Philip had no idea. What did this mean? Was he wrong about being in love with Jasmine? Or was he wrong here, with Aurora? Or was he just totally messed up and wrong about everything? Philip squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying to banish these unwanted thoughts away, but to no avail. He gently, and reluctantly, pulled back, sliding his hands up to hold Aurora some distance away by her arms, firmly, but gently, both to control himself from pulling her in again, and to keep his balance, and he stared down at the ground as he worked to catch his breath.

Philip then slowly turned his face and his wide-eyed gaze up to Aurora, mouth still slightly open as he continued to breathe heavily, and his chest heaving with each breath. "I'm-I'm sorry. I-I don't know why I did that," he stuttered out as he searched Aurora's eyes for the answers he desperately needed. One of his hands then slowly reached up to lightly caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers and his thumb as he gazed tenderly at her face. "I just felt like I needed to try it," he murmured to her softly, flicking his eyes up to hers, his own filled with uncertainty as he stared deeply into hers, his mouth now forming a tight line across his face while his breathing finally returned back to normal. Although his heart was beating very unusually, in tempo and in rhythm, and it was starting to thud roughly in his chest, as was becoming common when he thought about Jasmine or Aurora, or, like now, both. But he hid the pain and desperation he felt, and focused on Aurora, and on not pulling her back into another kiss. That, although it felt good, wouldn't accomplish anything.

She sighed and pulled away feom the comfort of his arms, "I know." She said quietly in a flat sounding voice as she turned away from him. "I'm sorry." She comtinued in that still hollow sounding voice which sounded so empty. She headed back to Samson, "Maybe we should have some distance.....I mean I don't want to get in the way." She said still sounding hollow and just plain tired...she was fucking tired of having her emotions keep getting twisted like this. She really didn't want to have to think anymore....it was becoming too painful.
(More feels ;3; )

Philip stared at Aurora sadly, his hands slowly falling from her arms to his sides, and his body hunching over and his face falling toward the ground in defeat. "Maybe we should," he agreed quietly in a chocked voice. If he let himself be honest, and let all his emotions out, he would not be settling for space between him and Aurora. Space was the last thing he wanted. But...Maybe it could help...Put some things into perspective and help him figure things out. And if she wanted it, he couldn't deny her that. Philip would give Aurora whatever she wanted.

Just imagining having to spend any amount of time away from Aurora, it was painful, and Philip's heart throbbed in his chest, while his stomach twisted in knots, and his throat was so dry and closed off, he couldn't find his voice. He tried to move himself, to walk back to Amber, but he couldn't seem to get his legs to work. He frozen, stuck in that spot, just staring at the ground and listening to Aurora getting ready to leave, which squeezed his heart tighter. "I love you....Mi Bella Rosa..." he whispered out to her, his voice hoarse, and hopeless, his face and eyes remaining low.

Her hands stopped what they were doing and she just stared ahead of her blankly for a moment. "What?" She asked and turned to look at him over her shoulder, her heart was pounding in her chest and she stared at him with hope in her eyes.
(oh geez Aurora is totally writing this o-o XDD)

Philip looked up, a bit surprised when Aurora turned back, but it was a very welcome surprise, his heart leaping for joy that she was still there. Philip swallowed hardly and clamped his fists tight as his stomach twisted and tightened into several knots, for some reason very nervous about saying those words again. But looking up into those clear, soft sapphire orbs, he suddenly got the push he needed, and he stood up straight, fists tight at his side and took a couple easy steps towards Aurora.

"I love you," he said in a clear voice, his eyes locked with hers. "Always remember that," he said, a hint of desperation in his voice. "I may not know for sure who I am in love with, or who I want to marry. But I do know that I love you, and very deeply. I cannot imagine you not being in my life," he explained affirmatively as he finally stepped up to Samson, and he reached up and gently placed a hand on one of hers, watching as he set it down and then meeting her gaze again, his eyes pleading and honest.

(( ))

She met his gaze and then looked down at his hands on top of hers, "Phillip...I don't want to ever lose any friendship I have with you. I love you too but...don't you ever get my hopes up like that again." She said quietly and withdrew her hand from his. "You say one thing but then you go and do something that tells me something else....and I'm so confused! You're not making this easy for me Phillip, every time we're together...I...I love being with you but your actions confuse me. I know you love me but if you don't love me in any romantic way then please stop kissing me and giving me mixed feelings. You're my best friend.....my only friend and I don't want to lose you, yet in some ways I...feel like I already have." She said with tears falling down her face.
(oh noes....I have a feeling this is gonna hurt Philly DX)

((Yeah.....That'll hurt him a bit... ))

Philip just stared at Aurora in shock as she spoke, looking down when she pulled her hand out from under his, and then turning his gaze back up to her face. His heart felt like it was being squeezed and twisted by the strongest man alive and his knees shook a bit under him. He turned his gaze down, away from Aurora finally, as she finished speaking, his hand sliding down and clutching at the bottom rim of her saddle while his other formed a tight fist as he ground his teeth, his vision blurring as he stared confusedly at the ground.

"Do-Do you-Do you honestly think, that I would ever purposefully do anything just to confuse and hurt you?" he asked, starting off quiet but growing louder, his voice full of hurt and confusion, and a bit of anger, turning his gaze up to hers as he finished, his eyes also full of hurt confusion. "Aurora....I would never...I could never do that to you," he pleaded softly, staring intently into her eyes. "You're not the only one confused here," he continued quietly, turning his head away and looking off to the side, and then at Samson's shoulder, reaching up with his free hand to lightly doodle in the horse's hair and then petting his horse gently before dropping both hands to rest by his sides, having to really concentrate on pulling off his hand on the saddle, and staring at the ground coldly.

"It kills me that I am putting you through this, and that it is hurting our friendship. And I am really just so so sorry," Philip explained, towards the ground but to Aurora, hanging his head at the end. He then glanced hesitantly up at Aurora, and his heart squeezed in his chest as he saw her face, and the stains on her cheeks from her tears. "I am so sorry," he murmured again softly before hanging his head again. "I will do whatever you want me to do," he told her, looking off to the ground to his side as his fists tightened just slightly, and shrugging his shoulders just a bit. "You want me to stay, in your life, I will. You want some space from me," he had to stop to swallow a lump down from his throat. "I will do that too," he finished sadly, his shoulders hunching over as he released his fists.

She rubbed her face, "I'm sorry....I didn't mean to lash out at you like that." She whispered and then bit her bottom lip, "I've done that a lot lately." She muttered almost as an after thought and then looked down tears still flowing, "I'm sorry Phillip.....I'm so sorry." She whispered in a heartbroken voice and turned away. "You really are my best friend and I....I haven't been the friend that you deserve." She said sadly. Seeing the pain that he himself was doing his best to hide made her feel worse, "Oh Phillip....I...." She trailed off just staring at him with wide sad eyes.

Philip squeezed his eyes shut, his fists so tight by his sides that his knuckles were white, as heard the pain in Aurora's voice. He just wanted to tear his heart out of his chest, to end the pain he was feeling. His whole body was rigid, causing him to occasionally shake unsteadily. Part of him was trying to hold him back from looking at Aurora, meeting her gaze, knowing it would only hurt him more, but eventually, his head began to slowly turn up so that his eyes could look at Aurora's face through his lashes, and his breath caught in his throat at the sight, and after staring at her face for a couple seconds, he had to quickly look away, clenching his jaw in frustration. He hated seeing her sad, especially if she was sad enough she was crying. And this time, it was because of him. It was his fault there were tears falling down her cheeks. How could he fix a problem he had created?

"I told you," Philip started softly, staring at the ground, hands on his hips. "You don't have anything to be sorry for," he assured Aurora firmly, his tone gentle, as he finally looked back up at her. He smiled up as brightly as he could, although it didn't quite reach his saddened eyes. "You do what you need to do. You know where to find me when you're done," he instructed her gently with a small smirk.

She smiled at him gently though it was difficult for her, "I love you Phillip....I always will." She said quietly and then hugged him hoping she could do that much, just being with him made her happy. "You are the most amazing friend Phillip you've always been there for me and I love that. You make me want to be a better person." She whispered.

Philip hesitated for a moment as he felt Aurora lean in and gently embrace him, but he soon felt himself fall into the familiar feeling and he slowly reached up to return her hug. The more they embraced, the more relaxed Philip began to feel. Aurora had always had a very comforting affect on him. He rested his chin in the crook of her shoulder, leaning his head lightly against hers as he rubbed her back soothingly.

"I love you too Aurora. So much," he assured her in a firm murmur. "And you are already the best kind of person," he continued, leaning back a bit, but letting his hands rest on her back, smiling fondly down to Aurora. "You're kind and generous and smart. And so wonderfully stubborn," he listed, laughing softly at the last point. "You're incredible," he murmured quietly, rubbing her back softly again as he gazed lovingly down at her. "That's why I'm so confused...And conflicted," he admitted sadly, hanging his head and looking down between them, swallowing roughly as he remembered what they had just been talking, and arguing, about.

She smiled sadly up at him, "You're being too nice....I'm not that incredible Phillip." She said quietly and squeezed his hands gently with her own before she turned away. She bit her lip, someone better then her wouldn't be attracted to the selfsame man who had raped them.

Philip stared after Aurora, dumb-struck, as she walked away, hands frozen, raised where they had been holding her, his chest aching seeing her in such distress. He slowly managed to drop his hands though, curling them into tight balls as his gaze fell down and off the side as well, and he swallowed roughly. "I don't think we will ever agree on this," he murmured in defeat. "You will always see yourself as bad," he stated, casually approaching Aurora. "But I-" he started to say, looking up thoughtfully with a small smirk, his face then becoming serious, and soft, as he turned his tender gaze to Aurora and gently touched her shoulder to turn her around to face him. "I can only see a beautiful, fun, amazing woman. A woman who is so kind, she absolutely cannot blame anyone else for anything," he said softly, smirking down gently, his eyes warm, as he closed the distance between them and slowly reached up to lightly rub her arms.

She smiled up at him but it was a sad smile, "Even after everything that's happened the past few days....you still believe that?" She asked disbelievingly as she bit her bottom lip.

"I've known you for a long time Auri," Philip said softly, reaching up with one hand to lightly brush her cheek and chin with his thumb, chuckling softly as he gently pulled out her lip from under her teeth. "I know who you are," he whispered as he leaned in towards her, meeting her gaze, a playful smirk on his lips, becoming more hopeful the longer he had he looked into Aurora's soft, vulnerable eyes. "I know you," he crooned softly before leaning back up, letting his hand fall from her face and slide over her shoulder to lightly rub her arm again.

Philip then stopped and dropped his head as he laughed lightly as a memory hit him just then. He casually wrapped his arms around Aurora, smiling playfully innocent as he began to sway with Aurora, humming a familiar tune. When he met her gaze again, his smile softened, becoming warmer, and his eyes became more intense. "I know you. I walked with you once upon a dream," he sang in a soft whisper, keeping their eyes locked as they swayed lightly.

Aurora's smile widened even more so, "I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam." She sang quietly back as she moved closer against Phillip. She hummed the melody with her eyes shining as she stared up at Phillip, being with Phillip and just relaxing like this made her believe that she was a better person.